Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Dear Film Critic,

I understand you are not very bright. Actually, not even average. Or, just below. Had you been any of that, you would have become an Engineer, like the rest of us. And had a regular job type thing. So, by definition, you cannot write a brilliant review. But that's alright. The rest of us aren't very intelligent either and we don't mind mediocrity -- even by our standards.

However, when you take yourself and your silly job that exists because newspapers and TV channels need to fill space and time, seriously -- there is a simple rule: You stay relevant within the layer you just defined for yourself. Just like the movie is expected to stay logical within its structure. In other words, one does not compare Annamalai and some obscure Eastern European movie -- Annamalai is brilliant because it is Annamalai.

Or, stop saying 'No Smoking' is a bad movie because you have decided that the masses will not be entertained or that the director is self indulgent in your opinion. I have a feeling, you basically belong to the camp that says 'Lost Highway' is a great padam but 'No Smoking' is not, because the former was called a great padam by some clever crtic (who was also white). Not that you can't or shouldn't -- but don't.

Regards,
Nilu

11 comments:

Zero said...

True. (And, No Smoking is a brilliant film.) On a different note, we live in a postmodern world and we can't write without "not-thats." Not that it is sad, but sometimes don't you wince a lit bit when you type those words every time you feel like saying something?

Subhash said...

Now since you are pitching this movie so much, I have to see it. And send you an email, because I understand Hindi better. And know that you are dumber than me.

How, you ask? Read your posts.

Subhash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
krishnan said...

In a country where a moron like Taran Adarsh is considered the "baap of all film critics" (as he is popularly referred to by the media), we can only expect such reviews.

avataram said...

Lost highway is a truly wonderful film. I want it to be played at every south indian wedding, so that thatha pattimargal can enjoy truly brilliant filmmaking.

Mulholland drive is but a sanitised version of Lost Highway.

Just because those morons Ebert & Roper didnt get it, doesnt mean no one has to get it.

Nilu said...

I agree. Lost Highway must also be played in all Poonals. The boy should be forced to repeat the leather jacket/individuality monologue.

Women you ask -- I guess they have the sissy version in Mulholland Dr where they can touch themselves for the first time or something.

Subhash said...

Wow. Avataram has a blog now. When do we get to see the posts?

I said...

adhu enna post-modern-o

Anonymous said...

:)

You said...

ennada pethare?

Jillu Madrasi said...

Correta sonna pa..