I'm told there are actually people who read this crazy woman's blog. If you're one of those people, consider yourself already puked on. Just from reading some of her blog comments, her two main reader types are a) horny virginal nerdy boys who unfortunately will remain that way till their arranged marriage and b) deranged ultra-feminists who think that writing bold but crappy posts about sex is a decent substitute for actually using one's cerebrum.
Seriously honey, what you're looking for is not a boyfriend. What you're looking for is another thing... what is it... oh yeah - a miracle!
She has such gems as:
Must think I am a Literary Genius
OK, I need not write anything here. Please read her blog and have yourself a good laugh.
Should be open to smoking in bed.
'Cause everyone just lurvvves kissing an ashtray.
Must find habits that even my best friends roll their eyes at "endearing".
Ah, an insane man to support your delusions. (Men, please don't forget to lie when asked, "do I look pretty"?)
But on the other hand, must not be too fashion savvy either, because that's just gay.
Because everyone knows that if you're fashion savvy, you MUST be gay.
Must be creative enough to fabricate a lovely and romantic present out of dried macaroni, sparkles and glue.
Would it be acceptable if we used the glue to seal your mouth shut, the sparkles to make you look prettier than the fugly woman you are (people who have seen her in the real world, you know what I'm talkin' about!), and just used the macaroni for dinner?
Must be passionate about something--like, I don't know, painting, or writing or xboxes.
Xboxes! Xboxes! Horny virginal nerdy boy readers of the site, rejoice! There is a ray of hope for you yet!
Maybe one day, we will see the technology where you will will be able to enter these requirements into a computer and have it automatically create this Italian well-dressed hunk who will love you like a Mills & Boon novel story while being a lunatic, all at the same time. I wouldn't keep my fingers crossed though.
But hey, I hear that the blogger Amit Varma is fantasizing about cows wearing lingerie. Perhaps you could show him some of yours?
Before you people ask who I am, the name is Golu. Mail can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org